from C Ra

I wrote this poem in '93, I think, and published it in the primitive little cut 'n paste poetry zine I used to put out, The Penny Dreadful Review. Mikael & David & I used to vaguely refer to ourselves as "The 3 Sages" (the Zen version of the 3 Stooges). Or maybe I just imagined that in my late 20s when I was writing my novel about us, The Three Sages. The novel seemed quite good to me at one point, but I somehow sort of accidentally on purpose lost the manuscript along the way, so maybe I didn't think it was that good after all. In any case, this poem, though quite dense and wordy for one of my poems (I like to be fast, brief, & exact, or DID, when I could WRITE poetry), is pretty much the poetic summation of the Sages novel, which in turn was meant to be sort of a spiritual biography...

In any case, I hope you get a good belly laugh, or at least a smile, out of it. For extra credit (worth a gold star), find the Penrod Schofield reference...

"and, upon hearing those words,
he was immediately enlightened"

(Common conclusion to more than one Zen fable)

When I was a Teenage Steppenwolf,
and one of three Taoist Sage wanna-bees,
(Kao Li my Holy Name)
Bruce Lee was our hero, and Bruce damn Lee could never die,
and we caught every Bruce Lee flick
our mothers could be persuaded to convey us to.

But the Dragon didn't make many,
and the local film-pits were mostly flooded
with Grade D-minus Hack Fu horseshit,
starring the uninspiring likes
of Bruce Li, Bruce Yee, Bruce Kee, Bruce Ho,
Bruce Norris, and Lee Bruce,
not to mention Jackie-Chuck Lee-Long-Dong
and other such cardboard dragons.

Still, the Three Sages needed chop-socky badly,
so we'd beg our mamas to get out their wheels
and usually, they'd indulge us
and we'd make it to town to see and sneer
and howl down the latest pretender.

Most of these films were eminently forgettable--
if you've seen one "Enter The Furious Feet Of Ninja Dragon Doom",
you've seen them all. Yet, one of these Bruceless Bruce Lee flicks
contained a scene we all found inspirational,
and which I still recall...

Picture a Taoist temple. See the tranquil Priest,
lotus-legged before the altar, wrapped in incense clouds and limned
with soft and holy light derived from hundreds of flickering candles;
a perfect portrait of sacred peace, detached from all petty Karma--
just like the three of us wanted to be,
and were far from in pissing distance of....

Suddenly WHAM!!! The door smashed in!
Three bad guys ugly big and mean
invade the space, and the ugliest snarls, clipped and vicious:
"You there!! PRIEST!!!" Whereupon

the Cool Old Wise Enlightened Priest
springs up and whirls and growls and shakes
with absolute foaming rabid rage as he
roars out: "YOUUUUU BASTARDS!
WHAT DO YOU DO
IN MY SACRED GOD DAMN TEMPLE,
DAMN YOU!!!!!"

Me and the other Two Sages (Mo Ti and Lao Ri)
nearly fell out of our ripped-up sticky
theatre seats with busted guts;
funniest thing we'd ever seen--
inappropriateness made perfection...
something lost in the translation
(or maybe, and most probably),
exactly what the Hong Kong hacks
expected we stupid round-eye fools
would EXPECT a Chinese Kung Fu Priest to say,

which made it even funnier,
because, of course, we clever Three
were far too fucking hip for THAT--
we were the Three fucking Sages,
and we went about for days and weeks
roaring it out at the slightest pretext:

"YOUUUU BASTARDS! WHAT THE HELL YOU DO
IN MY SACRED GOD DAMN TEMPLE, HUH??
GET OUT OF MY GOD DAMN TEMPLE!!!
GET OUT!! GET OUT, GOD DAMN YOU!!!!!"

Not long thereafter, Bruce Lee died. I became Enlightened.
Then, as the Sages fell to shit,
I began to study Spiritual Politics.

My Education has continued,
and I have been re-Enlightened
just often enough to internalize
to the truth of that old Zen saying:

"An Enlightened man
is like an arrow
flying straight
to Hell."

I remain on the Path as Poet, Priest,
Magician, and God Damn Fool,
and though I unlearn more Truths with every sunrise,
some have come after me
to inquire of Enlightenment.

To those who knock next, I have the Word
and will share it in all grandmotherly kindness--

what the hell ARE you bastards
doing in MY god damn Temple?

--C Ra