The end of something, whatever it was

            Like a glittering of stars

another day begins
in the long tired list of days alone,
the 2:00 AM knocking at the door
the stagger in boxer shorts
through the dark
then back to bed,
kids playing late
in the corridors of the old
apartment building

            it's too good
            too early
            to be trusted

then again at four AM
they come knocking again

another dream ends
a portent
a cloud on the horizon
 a fist in the face.

            This start and stop,
            the analyses, I do
            is inevitable

I roll back into bed again
perhaps slightly wiser, less eager
comforted with no sense of having wasted time
no sense of working overtime.

            taking time
            to clear my head.
            to regain my sense of structure.

something less than love comes
and drifts away that easily I suppose,

I am alone, I am fine, I do not need,
in the morning there will be sails
out on the water.