Meetings & Greetings

There was a knock at the door.

I was late for work, and I didn’t want to be rude.

But then I did not want to be late either.

So I yelled,

“Who is it?”

Not bothering to open the door

nor even to look.

There was no answer,

Only another knock.

Annoyed, I jerked open the front door.

There was Pig Willy on my front stoop

With a large Navy duffel bag at his side.

“Sir, do you require the services of a master

Of Verbal Karate,

Mental Jiu-jitsu

Or just plain know-how on running scared.”

“No, Pig, I don’t.”

Unaware or undisturbed by my answer

Pig continued, “Well, sir, today is your lucky day,

For I am a master of all the aforesaid

too often forgotten arts.”

“Listen Pig, I am late for work.

There is beer in the ice box

And the back porch has a day bed

And a reading lamp

If you need a place to stay.”

“That is all the fee I require for my services.”

“Great. We will talk when I get back home

But I am really late for work.”

It was then I noticed there was no car outside for Pig.

“Pig, how did you get here?’

“Walked.”

“Jesus Pig, why didn’t you call?

I would have picked you up.

Where did you walk from?”

“The Bus Station.”

“Jesus Pig,

That must be about ten miles from here.

Why didn’t you call?”

“It was no problem.”

Then I remembered Pig does not use the phone.

I know that in the world we live in

This must sound strange or bizarre

But it is true. Pig does not use the telephone.

Over the years

He had given me several reasons why.

Most I had dismissed as excuses

Which hid some kind of deeper phobia.

All ran along the general line

Of telephones are only good for talking AT someone,

And are not useful

If one wishes to have a conversation WITH another person.

The emphases are Pig’s, not mine.

Also the part about it being ‘no problem.’

This, for Pig, was always true.

Nothing was ever a problem.

Or maybe I have not said that right.

Pig did not have the same worries as the rest of us.

He seemed to live on a different plane.

That is why

Far and away

Pig was the most unusual character I had ever met.

“Well, Pig, why didn’t you try public transportation?

You know we do have public transportation here in the South.”

“And waste such a beautiful day?”

So I took the time to look outside

And saw that Pig was right.

The day was beautiful.

So I called into work

Told them I had car that wouldn’t start.

Told them my cat was not feeling well.

And I was not feeling too good myself.

Told them that we all needed a tonic.

But said nothing about Pig being the needed elixir.

Pig and I cracked open some cold ones.

Took some chairs outside

And enjoyed what Pig was kind enough to point out to me.